The Girls All Get Prettier At Closing Time

Oprah had a show about 30-year old virgins, and what they can do do about it...

I've got the easy answer!

Stay till closing time. That's all you got to do girls. At 2:30 somebody's gonna take you home don't worry. 

Call Me Costanza

L.A. has some lovely accommodations. Beautiful high-rise hotels with tower room lounges for breakfast and an afternoon nosh. Ballrooms for your meeting, fitness room for you arteries and free ice for the taking… And then there is Venus; making every smarmy beach town I have ever rolled through on my way to someplace else look like home coming at the Waltons.

We stayed at the LAX Hilton, a lovely hotel complete with jacketed valets, crisp suited front desk clerks and outstanding handicap stalls.  They’re large and inviting after a long trip or meeting, especially if they were serving free coffee. The handicap stall in Venus means not dropping trou before you piss.

We are considering making the move to Cali however, six days at the Hilton would be a far stretch from permanent residence in an apartment that is smaller than most handicap stalls. That’s if we could afford a Florida mortgage and a Los Angeles apartment at the same time.   I suppose I could live in a car in order to peruse the Oscar dream, but I would need at least a station wagon.