Dogs, Cars and MTV

More reasons why I follow Wayne around with a pen...

#1 Speaking of Cats

A handsome couple, who’ve spent five months this year away from home, are discussing whether or not now is the time to finally get a dog.

HUSBAND:
I wish I could just rent a dog to play with on the weekends.

WIFE:
Like a doggie hooker?

HUSBAND:
No! Like Saturday morning you pick up a perfectly trained dog of your choice and go to the dog park and play Frisbee. Then the dog lies by your feet while you read the Sunday paper and Monday you drop him off on the way to work; the whole doggie experience without having to walk him after work all week.

WIFE:
So, like when a guy hires a hooker for the whole night because he wants the “girlfriend experience”?

HUSBAND:
What’s wrong with you?


#2 The Smart-aleck car

A handsome couple are driving along in a big ole rental car, when they come up on a wee Smart car. It’s a two person vehicle that looks like it was designed to be driven by the Burger King guy with the tiny hands.

WIFE:
Is that a Mini Hooper?

HUSBAND:
No, it’s not even a Mini Cooper; it’s a Smart car.

WIFE:
What’s so smart about it?

HUSBAND:
When it gets hit by an F150 that couldn’t see it, the driver is going to be saying, “Ooo that’s smarts!!!”


#3 I Want My Cable TV

A handsome couple are watching cable TV in their hotel room, a luxury they don’t afford themselves at home. The man briefly lights on MTV.


HUSBAND:
I used to have a thing for Martha Quinn back in the day.

WIFE:
Really? I always thought she was kinda nerdy.

HUSBAND:
No, she’s cute. She’s got that Under Dog kind of sweetness about her.

WIFE:
I bet she’s been under quite a few dogs!

HUSBAND:
What’s wrong with you?